Mormon Valentines Dates

First off.................... This is a mens guide................


This post is in 3 parts

1.) Dates
2.) Movies for your date.
3.) What you should be doing this day.

Awesome hopefully all the women have moved onto some article on "the does and don'ts of today" and "How to not seem like a slut in these latter days".

Sick Ass V-Day Dates

5.) Go volunteer at a boys home- This date is oh so epic if you can set it up. First off you come off as a super sensitive caring guy. Then your also going around a group of the "bad kids boy scouts " I love this date mainly because 

• When you walk in to volunteer with a hot girl into a boys home, these boys will view you as a "Brad Pitt" and your girl as "Angelina Jolie". Your confidence and testosterone will literally shoot through the roof. Making you both feel awesome and make you kill with whoever you took on a date. 
• If this girl obviously can't handle being around any "large groups of young boys" she obviously won't be able to handle my children. (what you think that there is any remote possibility of me having girls?) 
• I like to love people that can love other people, this is the audition
• Helping out kids is great

4.) Watch movie

• (see below) 

3.) Sporting event

• Games are fun, dates are fun. Did i mention that places go ape crazy with the kiss me cam on valentines day? 
• If she is to uppity to go see a game...... you will obviously not get away with jack shiz if you get married
• Meet her halfway if needs be and wear "matching outfits". (note if this is a pity date do NOT! go for the matching outfits at all.)

2.) Pawn Shops

• Look at guns
• Look at power tools
• Most pawn shops will allow you to choose a movie and plug it in. (your watching a film on 13 tv's at the same time in a pawn shop?....EPIC) 
• look at all the weird jewelry with her and pretend your shopping for wedding rings. 
• Soooo many opportunities at the pawn shop. You could even bring something in and pawn it.  

1.) Make Valentines for other people/Make fake valentines for old couples. 

So basically meet up with your date and help her make valentines for her "single friends" "fat friends" "Relatives". This is great because much like december 25th It is greater to give than t o rec ieve. 

• For a fake valentines blast......... 
• Make valentines to people from their exes........ deliver to both sides........watch dreams collapse and tears develop. 
• This is by far the meanest most epic form of a prank you can do in mormon culture. 

Movie select ion

If your going for a chick flick remember

• If you think its funny......not a chick flick
• If it has won any a c ademy awards.........not a chick flick
• If it has to mu ch violence....not a chick flick

Here are some go o d m o net mo vie s f o r Valentines day. 

1. Meet Joe black- Brad P itt, chick flick, 3 hours. Yet this movie is so long and bo ring.....even she will get bored...... guess who ends up getting a g u aranteed make out? you son.....you (hence a group date this is a the WORST movie c ho i ce !)
2. Anything Mathew Mcconaughey- Women think he's hot, guys think he is funny. The only man who can make unisex humor in a chick flick. 
3. Any film made before 19 60's- Why i say this is ............ those films will always be under hour and a half long (Minus Gone with the wind). 
4. "Safety Not guaranteed"- Its on netflix, its R but only for 5 "EFF BOMBS!" lets see how "chill" your girl truly is. 

Good luck all and happy hunting! 

DR NCMO Love Mas ter Jay!