Thursday, March 29, 2012

Obstacles to LDS dating Part 1


First of all welcome to the blog. Now must tell you three things. 

1.) I am not the most gifted crafter of words (or punctuation.) So if you feel the need to be a real smart A$$ and mock my errors in the comments in order to make you feel like a big man get off my blog.

2.) LDS women are the most jacked up women on the planet. What other culture of women, waits two years for someone they dated for two months? Or have there dating scales in two steps, making out, then serious relationships? 

3.) As an LDS male we have ALOT of obstacles to overcome in order to learn how to score with the hottest, and most women possible! (or date/marry whatever floats your boat.) 

I'm going to be doing my first 3 posts on obstacles your gonna face.  

  • A culture which has raised LDS women to think they must dominate men. Treat them like a princess, and bend men to there will. 
  • A culture where no one truly gets good at dating women because 
  1. There done dating after finding one girl that they think is "good enough to spend eternity with" 
  2. People live in constant fear that if they break up with someone, they can be married off to someone else within a few months.
  3. The lack of hot LDS women has forced the males who can date to hide there secrets instead of sharing them with the world! 
  4. Males date a more immature (dont listen to this trash about how some 18 year old chick who makes brownies with her roomies and watches disney movies is more mature!) Dating pool then themselves. 
  5. Our culture has misconstrued "respecting women" into "sucking up to/worshipping women". 
  6. All married people of similar age constantly harass their unmarried peers into getting married so "There in the same state as themselves."
  7. LDS girls are the most over thinking women on the planet.
  • Several women (not all) base merits for a first date on mission placement, earning potential, GPA, ward calling, and how long you took sobbing up on the pulpit last fast Sunday. This skews there whole dating experience compared to non mormon girls.
  1. Non mormon girls can sleep with multiple partners, and have a much longer window for getting married (say 28) compared to an LDS girls which I have heard from some girls state that "if your not engaged or married by 19 and a half your not trying" 
  2. Since there is no fear or marriage for everyone they date they want to "experiment" in the men that they date. 
  3. LDS culture for females puts being a mother higher than career aspirations/adventures and goals. (unless that goal is to find a nice RM and pop out four babies.) 
  4. Non mormon girls have to worry about guys using them just to sleep with them. While LDS girls have to worry about guys marrying them purely for sex. (No wonder mormon girls are scared!) 
  • We as males have to deal with flaky scared girls who are to scared to "betray my missionary" that they flirt kiss and run in order to protect her and her missionaries "undying love" that was born out of hours of movies makeout and a 134$ ring that he bought to "call dibs" on her for two years. 
  • LDS singles wards are filled up with creepers who are incessantly hanging around prospects in hope of magically disappearing out of the "friend zone" by setting his head on her foot during a 8 hour harry potter movie fest. 
  • Girls room mates who need to "stamp there approval" on you taking out the girl who they happen to have the random luck of splitting rent with. (this aspect of lds dating pisses me the most off). 
 I will go into more things later. After this list you are probably thinking "Wow well i am super screwed". Or you are actually contemplating accepting that date with that "cute girl" your aunt wants to set you up with. (unless she is a ex model) scratch that only if she is a current model.

Here is your biggest advantage. Look down between your legs (males only) down there should be a pair of balls. Someone might have came along and hid them. Or you slowly shrunk them painfully by reading one twilight book after another. I however know your a champion. Our biggest advantage is this

  1. Most of your competition is made up of pansies, 18 year old bought my first razor pre mees, and 27 year old creepers (if you are 27 that's fine {but if your creeping quit it}were gonna make 27 year old bachelors legit again). 
  2.   These LDS women have almost never been hit on by men with a legitimate gameplan, confidence, and the balls the "Thomas S. Monson wished more young men would use" 
Next post I will give you two easy Make out methods 1.) through text game 2.) and one in person 

stay tuned. spread the word. (but please burn all of your "become there best friend first" aproaches to dating by next week)

Till next week

Dr. NCMO love master Jay

1 comment:

  1. And by getting that off the chopping block I mean getting over dating girls based only on looks and rushing it just cause. It's not a good mindset just to marry for sex but when you're likely to get in loads of trouble if you do the dirty tango before the I do's it leaves a lot of us sexually frustrated in the end. So we makeout as much as possible with as many as possible because it's all we can do.

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