bumble and tinder 5 dates 5 days and takeaways

Ladies and gentlemen it has been a fantastic last couple of days! I thought I'd update you on whats been going on in my dating life! Firstly as the title of this post states ive been on 5 dates in 5 days..... heres a hilarious recap of some of those dates.

1.) Had a date with a nice nurse from kaysville. We made out, and chilled at her place... I have to admit I messed this one up guys. Firstly I went over to her place the day after we were messaging on tinder... secondly once we made out for like 10 minutes she kinda freake dout and was like

"ummmm this is my first time meeting someone off tinder and were just making out?!?!"

I in my kissing inebriated state thought that she was making a joke.... which she wasn't. I mistakenly laughed and went in for another kiss.... lets just say that didn't end very well.... lets just say htis pigs get fat hogs go to slaughter.

2.) After the nurse fiasco I decided just to go get a smoothie and see what happens... (might I add the girl I was going on a date with is actually a 3rd grade teacher and far more classy then the kissing conflicted nurse.) We sat down sucking down our Jamba juice and I tried my best to find a sittign position that would somehow grant me a view of the elementary school cuties legs. This girl was the type of girl that you would bring home to your parents! Aside from an awkward conversation about kids vomiting on her desk (I know it sounds funny but she was rather distraught).

End of date, we walk outside and it ends with a SIDE HUG!!!! what the heck?? So I get in my car and think hmmmmm didn't sense any mojo that things went badly.... two hours latter i receive this text.
BOLD=3rd grade teacher 
Italics=me

Hey, thanks again for the smoothie! I really did have fun getting to know you a little bit.

And I apologize that I showed up looking a little like a homeless person haha..... I just came straight from work!  

You seemed pretty nervous....... Haha and then that awkward side hug.... Lol didn't think you'd be texting me 

And I honestly didn't think you'd text back... Confession: I was pretty nervous (since we're stating the obvious) haha and I'm SO sorry about that hug...

 I'm not sure what that was, other than something for me to awkwardly replay in my mind over and over on my way home haha

That the first time you've met someone off of bumble?

Haha yeah thanks for that :) And for the record that WAS my first bumble date... does that cut me some slack? 

And to answer your other question, I was nervous around you because the longer we sat there the more apparent it was to me that you seem like a pretty gr

eat guy.... and pretty attractive one too I might add...

Lets just say we have another date lined up.... And found out this cutie Pa tootie has only kissed 3 men in her life?? fascinating. I'm actually gonna close this up and do some work.... however my next post I will touch on the 3 other dates. here is some bumble take aways

simple bumble rule takeaways. 

1.) Women are extremely freaked out that the person that they are going to meet is going to be some sort of crazy stalker..... play is super cool..... 

2.) If a woman acts skiddish take two steps back.... then two more 

3.) If you look better in person than your pics this will make girls feel A LOT more comfortable around you. 

4.) Short dates.... public dates.... then chill out After that date I was wondering "what the heck happened is she still interested"... refuse the feeling to text them.....

leave your questions or comments below.... or hate on me and call me a douche like I care obviously plenty of women like me regardless. 

Temple Interview During Make Out???

So i was recently making out with a girl... on the first date (what else would you expect.) In the middle of the makeout the girl turned to me and said.

" So are you a virgin?"
"umm yes and i just got off of a mission"
"Have you ever done hard drugs?"
"nope"
"What about Meth?"
"Look (name withheld) I just got off of my mission three weeks ago does that count for anything?"
"Well I'm just trying to make sure that your a good guy."

But then the whammy hit after her next question.

"Have you ever been disfellowshipped, or excommunicated?"
"No I have not been excommunicated."
"Have you ever had a pornography addiction, cause like I know those always come back."

Hmm..... this was one of the oddest encounteres that ive ever had with a woman especially while I'm shoving my tongue down her throat...... BUT THE ODDEST THING WAS THIS WOMAN WAS KISSING ME LIKE CRAZY!!!!! Any woman who kisses me like that shouldn't be grilling me about my "standing in the church, or chastity/word of wisdom level."

then again what else can you expect from a bumble date eh? Morale of the story is this

1.) Atonement actually exists. (this girl seemed to not think so)
2.) You can get a woman so irrationally attracted to you that she will give you a temple interview whilst shoving her tongue down your throat.
3.) Bumble and tinder are almost guaranteed makeouts.

Stop Light Pick-up.

THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Friday I was with the libertarian of love and I was a witness to true greatness. We were driving along and we stopped at a red light and one of the foxiest ladies I've ever seen driving a crappy old Ford Taurus pulls up next to us.

We waived at her for about ten seconds. We expected at best she would smile and waive. but no she rolls down her window. I rolled down the window and Libertarian yells "You're a doll." She then said thank you and then the libertarian says "What's your number?"

Then like nobody's business she starts spitting the digits. He writes them down and calls her later that night and set's up a date.

With God as my witness that was the greatest pick-up I've ever seen and it's an inspiration to us all. This woman was lose your membership in the church hot and was just waiting for a ballsy move to be made. As Biggie Smalls once said "throw your hands in the air if you a true playa"

Get out there are get some hot women when you or better yet they least expect it.

Wild Willy

Getting Mormon Men back into the game.

        I will not lie, I've been out of the dating scene for a few months. Sure I made out with a few women (more like girls). But I  have BEEN OUT OF THE REAL GAME! The biggest thing however that keeps men out of the game are these two things.

• You cannot get a dates with women you don't meet 
• You can't get dates with women you friend zone. 
• You can't date women who friend zone you

Yeah I promised 2 yet named 3. This is why..

       If your bitching about me writing 3 points, when I promised 2 you will be eaten up by women. If you can't adapt to your date liking taylor swift, how will you adapt to her ex boy friend dating your ex in order to get even with you. The reason my third bullet point is "You can't date women who friend zone you." is third is because that my friend is what 99% of loser dudes bitch about. 

     "She friend zoned me and I'm so awesome I have been going to golds for over 2 years, my abs look like they are carved out of marble."  

      

       Well guess what for some reason she IS NOT INTERESTED. So you must move on. I'm going back into the game, and I am dreading it.  Mainly because the mormon culture does not gather large groups of attractive women together often. You can ward hop, Gym hop, join the disney movie club at byu idaho, I don't care. You will never find a group of 50 attractive LDS girls with no boyfriends/fiancés/husbands that have no other options. WON'T HAPPEN (if it does call me). So the simple thing to do is. 

Everyday meet women- wherever you can however you can. 

Everyday never come off as friend zone material- Mormons that abide by gospel principles only bang one person in their lifetimes. (and you get to meet up in heaven for eternity so you probably should be rather fond of your soulmate.) What does this mean? You better be 100 % YOU!!! "Well what if I suck?" well if you suck I advice you to not suck. 

Homework 

1. Meet Women
2. Flirt with women
3. Go over the top bold with flirting
4. Meet women

This is Mr. Tim your average guy making the dive back into dating with you.... Signing off

Be Icy

Hello readers my name is Icy E IV, a guest contributor to the Mormon Dating Guru blog.  I am a long-time friend of Dr NCMO Love Master Jay and the rest of the Gurus. Our advice is unique, and I find the most successful way, to date 21^st Century Mormon women. We aren't little puppy-dog RM's who got home from our missions two months ago, bumbling around trying to get engaged by the end of the week. We have all been in "the game" for years: specifically in the Mormon community.

I graduated from BYU and know all about the exceedingly peculiar dating scene there. I now attend a university in the United States where the Mormon dating scene is very different from that in Utah. After having been a member of nearly a dozen singles wards I know all about the social dynamics of dating in one.

Today I want to talk about being "icy." What does it mean to be icy? Being icy means that you can stay cool regardless of what kind of crazy stuff may be happening around you. There are two main scenarios when it is paramount to remain icy: when approaching, and when being tested by chicks.

APPROACHING. When a man approaches a woman it is natural for him to be nervous. All you 21 year old guys may think you’re experts at picking up women because you spent two years talking to strangers, but approaching women is different because your ego gets invested in the situation—trust me. Don't be a pushover who gets hurt when he is rejected. Although it’s easier said than done you need to remove your fear of rejection. Before you approach, realize that “YOU ARE THE MAN” and if a woman rejects you it's only because she doesn't know how awesome you are yet! Don't get butt hurt, there are hundreds of thousands of ladies that want to get scooped up by you. When you are icy, and don't care what the outcome will be, you will have major success. You gotta be icy.

BEING TESTED. When you're in a relationship, your gf will want to get to know you by experiencing a range of emotions. She will naturally test you, and one way that she will do this is by acting entirely out of character (such as freaking out at you) to see how you respond. Don't be alarmed, this is all inherent in all females. Be icy. Don't try to talk her through the situation. Any input WHATSOEVER will only affect the situation negatively. After she has gone on her rampage, just say in a cool tone "are you done?" You've demonstrated that you can be icy and put up with her crap. Women love to jabber and they just need to get all their emotions out. By being icy and simply listening to what she has to say she'll calm down and want you worse than ever. Be authentic about it too. If you really engage in listening to what is on her mind she will love you even more.

Being icy means that you are a self-actualized individual and that you don’t need approval from anyone else. This is the most attractive personality. And you can learn to be icy. Too many people seeks relationships as a source of approval. Love yourself first and everyone else will love you too. Yes, I'll say that again, love yourself first and everyone else will love you too. 

A good example of being icy is shown in the clip below. Arnold Schwarzenegger gets hit by an egg but he continues on his path like nothing happened. When a woman is testing you, brush off the crap thrown at you and continue on like nothing happened. She'll see the strength of your character right before her eyes and want you badly.

Icy E IV 

The Tinder Formula

I’m writing this article to piggy back off of what my man Dr. NCMO Love Master Jay wrote a few weeks back about tinder. Since reading his article I’ve taken his advice and tweeked it just a bit creating a formula that I’ve had a lot of success with if you want to get dates from Tinder.

First – Create your profile follow the advice given by my man Dr. NCMO Love Master Jay.

Second – Start swiping word of advice be liberal at first with swiping right this will give you more opportunites to hone your game, you don’t need to swipe right on the corn feed women or the 40 year-old creepers but just don’t only swipe right on the mega hotties. Even Babe Ruth didn’t go straight to the big leagues.

Opener – I’ve been trying several openers and found that one will get a response 90% of the time it’s used.

 “Are your eyes always that sparkly or is that just some fancy camera work ;)”

For some reason they just love this. It appeals to their vanity and you are also making them qualify themselves. You can come up with any number of ways to get a response but this one has been MONEY! They will usually respond with either something like “No fancy camera work :)” or “Everyone always tells me my eyes are beautiful” or “Must be the camera”.
 If they respond that that it’s natural and they are conceded. Say well you’ve got beautiful eyes or some bull crap to that effect. Just keep playing on their vanity.
If they respond its camera work say something like, “to bad”, then give a follow-up question based on something interesting in their pictures.

There are a lot of lines similar to this, they follow a similar formula compliment, with a question to make them qualify themselves or get flirty. Your job is to help them get playful. Try different things and creative or your game will get stale and you’ll end up all alone on Saturday night playing World of Warcraft.  The line given above is just a jumping off point.

         A good follow-up question to this is: What do you like to do when you’re not creeping on guys using tinder? This question will get information for you about their interest and also make them a little more relaxed by calling them out as a creeper when they probably kind of think you are.
Then find some common interest or just suggest an activity and chances are you’ll get a number. During the summer suggesting a baseball game is great, or any sporting event is usually a good one, also if you know how to fish women usually love this, you just have to suggest something! Also trying the lets makeout is usually not going to work unless you’ve found some girl that is bound to give VD or you want to end up like Manti Teo.

          Using this I have gotten numbers in as little as FIVE messages and usually in less than ten.  I’d say follow-up quickly with 2 days after receiving the number and get yourself some lovin!
The bottom line with tinder is just like meeting women in real life, YOU NEED TO BE BALLSY AND CONFIDENT. If you aren’t they are going to figure you for some skinny-jean wearing pussy, and if they want a pussy they’re a lesbo, and lesbians are gross.

Happy Hunting 

Wild Willy

Why Mormon Women Risk More By Playing It Safe

Hey this is "RonRon" Paul the Libertarian of love......

Many women have been messaging the LDS Dating Guru Twitter account asking for dating advice. And by a lot I mean A FREAKING TON! The situation that the women are in seem to fall into a few categories.

I like this boy how do I know if he likes me? 

I want to date this boy.. But I am afraid that I might get rejected and ruin our "friendship" 

How can I date a guy, then go back to being friends if I don't like the "vibe" I get when we start dating. 

I'll stop right there. Seems like all women are seeking what most men are also looking for right now. The thing people seem to want should seem obviously dumb, and unattainable.

How do I date someone with absolutely 

ZERO RISK! 

If you can figure out how to gain everything with no risk..... Then I bet you have some fail proof formula to become a billionaire.

What Do We Risk By Doing Nothing? 

Every relationship on the planet started with risk. 

When you went in for a kiss........ RISK 

When you asked out that girl....... RISK 

When you decided to wear that colored shirt to church instead of your missionary garb..RISK 

When you decided to ask your co-worker if they wanted to hang out later...... RISK 

By our inaction, because of fear of a negative reaction we RISK losing all of the good opportunities in our lives. If we even look at the plan of salvation..... Satan=No Risk Jesus=Risk 

          "But Ron Ron, you don't understand! What if I ask a guy out and he rejects me!" What happens if you never ask the guy out? I'll tell you what will happen he will end up dating someone else! Now there are more ways to get a boy to ask you out by taking risks. 

Less Risky Ways To Get a Guy to Ask You Out 

1. Do aggressive flirting- Touch, touch, touch if a girl touches me tons, I'm asking her out. Asking to feel his muscles, or smiling non stop at him are also good. If he is a co-worker the whole office should be thinking "Does she have the hots for him" Odds are his buddy will make him ask you out. 
2. Tell him how good he looks- If a woman compliments me, or calls me hot. I am going to think about taking her out. Complimenting him can't just be about his shoes. A "wow you look ripped in that shirt" is the appropriate way to tell a guy "Oh baby Oh baby". 
3. Joke- Joke about life, you guys dating, his favorite sports teams. Insert some punching and play fighting in here, and your target will start to feel the "Sexual Tension". 

But What if He "Freaks Out" 

Worst case scenario he never talks to you again. I personally am happy when I hit on a girl and get totally and Utterly REJECTED. I think top myself "Damn I'm so happy i didn't waste any more time on that girl." The same applies towards girls. Don't you hate it when you crush on a guy for months....just to find out he has ZERO attraction to you. You just wasted months of your life. 

I know women hate risk. I also know that you want to find a legitimate man to date. I know that men seem stupid. I also know that you will continue to be asked out by dweebs if you continue to take no risks. 

Homework

1. Identify a male that you like. 
2. Aggressively flirt with him, hit on him, or get his number. 
3. Repeat steps One and Two. 

Have a week of risks, and amazing rewards. 

"RonRon" Paul The libertarian of love