Tinder Advice Part 2A

I'll be honest. I just got 6 yes six bonafide hotties to go out with me on tinder. I am super pleased with the list. I'll break down the list. And once I select one of these girls to date (If I do at all). I will post pictures of these girls with a black stripe over their eyes to maintain anonymity.

My six women and how I got them on Tinder. 

Each woman I used a different strategy. I'll break down all 6 below. 

1.) Former Utes Cheerleader. (Who is an absolute doll.) 

I used the "Wow what freak thing brought awesome people like you and me to use this dating app." This is a strategy you can't use if your ugly. (sorry man if your pushing 300 pounds no woman will believe that you have a plethora of women..... especially if they meet you on a online dating app.) 

• Use an opener of your in shock a classy, good-looking, sexy girl like herself is on the dating app. Possible openers can be "Wow you seem far to nice and adorable to be on this app! Whats the story behind you using this? Bet you have to beat the boys off with a stick!" 

• To make this work well you have to have screening wording in your profile description. stuff like "I only date blondes." or "I'm just on here for fun highly unlikely I'll go out with anyone on here just doing this for kicks." or "No crazies please!" This wording implies that you already have women hitting on you and you are indeed "screening" women and searching for a "High quality woman". 
• I talked with the cheerleader. During which we both talked about how people are so over the top when trying to get a date. How it was hard to find quality people. Then i just simply said "you seem really fun and super chill lets go to a baseball game next week. (You can insert any event here.) SHe said she would love to.... and "That SOUNDS SO FUN!" 

 2.) Make an Offer they can't refuse. 

• I landed a Grade a hottie whose family owns an up and coming chain of restraints here in the state of utah. Despite that fact this girl watches her diet and lets just say the female sex pack...... AMAZING!! (the type of girl you literally are tempted to date just to show off to your friends.) 
• On my initial approach I just went for the basic commonality approach. We both had liked the the Utah Jazz. I promptly asked her if she was just one of the fair weather "kyle korver" Female utah jazz fans. Then I placed a what she thought about the jazz stacking picks. Turned out she is a giant Utah Jazz fan. 

• Make the offer- Don't make it to unbelievable, but make it awesome. I promptly told her that I had Utah Jazz Pre Season court side seats and asked if she wanted to come. (this of course was a bold faced lie I have no such tickets.) However thats weeks away. So instead we went and got an ice cream (don't worry males her bod is still fine.) that ice cream cost me 50 cents (indeed we went to burger king.) The point is the "offer they can't refuse" opened the door, and her mind to hanging out with you..... Basically your in. 

3.) Appeal to Vanity- Every girl wants to be told she's pretty. Not "Hey babe your ass is a 9 out of 10" instead go with "wow you have such an awesome tan! What beach did you get that on? 

• I complemented a girls eyes. "Are your eyes on your picture photo shopped? Cause they sam to good to be true!" She replied back her thanks and that they are indeed hers. At which point i told her that they are gorgeous and melted me a little inside. After that it was like finding something green in the rainforest. Success was imminent. 

• Make sure to look for things you truly think are attractive. Features that most people overlook, style, fashion, and their tastes in music. People want to be popular, want to be complimented, feel unique. DOnt impress her let HER tell YOU about HERSELF! The more she tells YOU about HER the more SHE WILL LIKE YOU!!! 

I will break down the other 3 women. I have to go off to chill with my brother. (Bro's before Ho's) 

this man could use some advice from ME. 

Me= Dr. NCMO Love Master Jay 

happy hunting my friends! 

Tinder me Up! Tinder advice for the mormon male. Part one constructing your profile

If you have a smart phone I know you have heard about the dating app tinder...... go look it up. I'm not an elementary school teacher so I won't be teaching you the basics of this app. I however will break down some ways you can score a ridiculous amount of dates/ncmo on this site.

Getting your profile together

On tinder you have about one second to make a good impression with hot women. This means you have to do a few things immediately. 

• Identify yourself- If a girls photo pops up on tinder and has more than one girl.... I always assume the girl is the ugly one. So I click no fast. Make sure you and only you are in the photo. If she can't identify...she will deny. I suggest you go with 3 types of first photo's 

1. What a normal nice guy- This is usually a picture of you looking nice, smiling, and doing something normal. Try to stay away form the mirror self portraits. Also stay away form photo's where your significantly different than your current body. 
2. OMFG thats hilarious- if you have a picture of you in an outfit or something that literally makes people launch a snot rocket from laughing then indeed you can put this photo up. however you probably will get the "attractive nice empty headed fun loving girl". With these photo's (note these chicks are so easy to score with.) 
3. You with women- Note this has to be done right. If women see's this photo and can identify that you are clearly in the friend zone with all of these chicks you know darn right she will automatically mark the "pussy" box in her mind and pass you. Make sure you and these women are out having fun. Also note these women need to be attractive. I know fat women are far more pleasant and less bitches than their hotter companions. (if you were out to get fatties lets face it you would never be on this site. Men who like fat women rate living in a golden age that the world has never seen.) 

• Mutual "likes"- On tinder two things pop up, mutual friends, and shared likes. The biggest thing is to establish commonality. "oh my gosh we both like running and taylor swift!" (I personally do not recommend liking taylor swift you will be labeled a pussy.) I do recommend two simple ways to use common likes to score dates. 

1. Go out and like as many things as you can- This is a simple strategy....... Yet deadly. When that girl pulls up the results and says "OMG he likes that also!" Commonality that magic word will score you more conversations, more intrest, and more dates. Now some of you nay sayers out their are saying "But what if they wanna talk about something I know nothing about. I have some simple answers. Tell women that you must have liked that on accident. Or........ you just get on this one website I use sometime www.google.com and do some freaking research you lazy broseph!
2. Talk about things people love- If you both love the goo goo dolls then of course you both will naturally start to like each other once you discuss the goo goo dolls! However dont approach it like an idiot! Say me and said girl both have a mutual like for switchfoot. I wont approach her and say

chump: "Hey do you like switchfoot?"

her: "yes"

chump: "Ummm thats awesome! I really like them also!"

her: "(no response)"

How you should ask about mutual likes.





me: "Switchfoot fan eh? You think the last album was on par with Hello Hurricane?"

her: "I actually havn't heard the last album, I was a huge switchfoot fan back in highschool. Sadly I am behind on whats happeinging with the band!

me: "Not a hardcore fan eh...... Hmm I guess i can overlook this, but only casue your so cute ;) You actually look like one of the women in (insert switchfoot music video link) Why the heck are you on tinder? you must have boys lined up to hit on you like fat kids in line for the icecream truck!

I will touch on more methods/strategies in the next tinder segment. UNTIL THEN.......

Dr. NCMO Love master Jay.

Mormon Valentines Dates

First off.................... This is a mens guide................


This post is in 3 parts

1.) Dates
2.) Movies for your date.
3.) What you should be doing this day.

Awesome hopefully all the women have moved onto some article on "the does and don'ts of today" and "How to not seem like a slut in these latter days".

Sick Ass V-Day Dates

5.) Go volunteer at a boys home- This date is oh so epic if you can set it up. First off you come off as a super sensitive caring guy. Then your also going around a group of the "bad kids boy scouts " I love this date mainly because 

• When you walk in to volunteer with a hot girl into a boys home, these boys will view you as a "Brad Pitt" and your girl as "Angelina Jolie". Your confidence and testosterone will literally shoot through the roof. Making you both feel awesome and make you kill with whoever you took on a date. 
• If this girl obviously can't handle being around any "large groups of young boys" she obviously won't be able to handle my children. (what you think that there is any remote possibility of me having girls?) 
• I like to love people that can love other people, this is the audition
• Helping out kids is great

4.) Watch movie

• (see below) 

3.) Sporting event

• Games are fun, dates are fun. Did i mention that places go ape crazy with the kiss me cam on valentines day? 
• If she is to uppity to go see a game...... you will obviously not get away with jack shiz if you get married
• Meet her halfway if needs be and wear "matching outfits". (note if this is a pity date do NOT! go for the matching outfits at all.)

2.) Pawn Shops

• Look at guns
• Look at power tools
• Most pawn shops will allow you to choose a movie and plug it in. (your watching a film on 13 tv's at the same time in a pawn shop?....EPIC) 
• look at all the weird jewelry with her and pretend your shopping for wedding rings. 
• Soooo many opportunities at the pawn shop. You could even bring something in and pawn it.  

1.) Make Valentines for other people/Make fake valentines for old couples. 

So basically meet up with your date and help her make valentines for her "single friends" "fat friends" "Relatives". This is great because much like december 25th It is greater to give than t o rec ieve. 

• For a fake valentines blast......... 
• Make valentines to people from their exes........ deliver to both sides........watch dreams collapse and tears develop. 
• This is by far the meanest most epic form of a prank you can do in mormon culture. 

Movie select ion

If your going for a chick flick remember

• If you think its funny......not a chick flick
• If it has won any a c ademy awards.........not a chick flick
• If it has to mu ch violence....not a chick flick

Here are some go o d m o net mo vie s f o r Valentines day. 

1. Meet Joe black- Brad P itt, chick flick, 3 hours. Yet this movie is so long and bo ring.....even she will get bored...... guess who ends up getting a g u aranteed make out? you son.....you (hence a group date this is a the WORST movie c ho i ce !)
2. Anything Mathew Mcconaughey- Women think he's hot, guys think he is funny. The only man who can make unisex humor in a chick flick. 
3. Any film made before 19 60's- Why i say this is ............ those films will always be under hour and a half long (Minus Gone with the wind). 
4. "Safety Not guaranteed"- Its on netflix, its R but only for 5 "EFF BOMBS!" lets see how "chill" your girl truly is. 

Good luck all and happy hunting! 

DR NCMO Love Mas ter Jay! 

Dump........ The Friend Zone

Let's face it female friends suck........... either you like them, or them you. But lets face it someone is always using you. Here is a list of acceptable uses of female friends. (note because of the rapid marriage rate of LDS females, your "friend" will be married and gone soon anyway.

• Study partner for college class (only if you need her help, and she is better at the subject than you.) Don't let her use you as a free tutor and an emotional tampon for her failed relationships. 
• Relatives, cousins aunts sisters. Honestly develop these friendships over any other female friendships. Plus prospective girl friends will see your great relationships and think "wow this guy is dope". This is far better than her seeing you around a lot of girls that all deem you as "just a friend". 
• girlfriends/wives of a mutual friend. But note this is almost a half friendship if your roommate and his gf are constantly at your apartment you should prob be somewhat of a friend to them. 
• Exes that you no longer want to date, but are fine with the possibility of a FWB (friends with benefits situation.) 
• Co workers (note do not let her take advantage of you). 

Yep that's about it. So right now i want you to disapear from all your female "friends" lives. You will start to see a few dramatic things happen.

• Your old "friends" will start to wonder what your up to. They will call and start chasing you. 
• Women will start viewing you as "That guy who likes me" or "That guy who doesn't like me" instead of. "Oh he is such a good friend!" 
• You will start to have more self respect. 
• You will stop wasting your time and money hanging out with women who just want to use you. Why should you be spending your time hanging with someone else's GF/Wife
• You will save yourself all the frustration of "I don't know if she likes me" and or "It's a complicated situation. 

Now how do you stay out of friend zone with girls. It's simple, if you like a girl let them know that your interested in them sexually/romantically (don't let sexual be deemed a dirty word, kissing hugging cuddling can all be deemed sexual, everyone makes babies with their spouse lets not be babies about terms here). Notice how I didn't say "let them know you like them" NO NO NO "let them know your attracted and you wont settle for anything less."  Plus lets be honest how many guys are stuck HIDING THERE TRUE FEELINGS in order to keep "her friendship". When you hide your true feelings you end up lying to that person, suppressing things you want to say, and being a fake person WHO DOES NOT PURSUE OR CHASE WHAT HE WANTS! you essentially are bending to that woman's will. You are being a pansy. Lets stop being a pansy.

Homework/What you should have gotten out of this post. 

What you got out of it. 

• There is no reason to have female "friends" 
• Stop hiding your intentions/attraction towards females. 

Homework

1. End or significantly reduce all female friendships
2. Stop doing favors for your female "friends" 
3. Don't apologize to your female "friends" for not being there for them.
4. Stop being the shoulder to cry on for females, especially in dating. Just say "hey i'm not your girl friend i don't wanna hear about johnny making out with your sister."

Good luck

DR. NCMO LoveMaster Jay